I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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