oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
