Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Bring me that man meat
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
