Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was like eating out sand paper
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Randomize
