oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
