I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
