I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
