If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
