ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
