If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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