That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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