p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
