I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
