Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Randomize
