She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
