I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize