i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
