So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
