you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
