In the future we'll all be gay
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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