Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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