there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
