she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
