I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
