I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
