I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
pray to the hookup gods
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
