Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize