try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
