Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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