If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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