She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
