AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
