I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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