He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
