i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
