your parents love me but you hate me
I need help removing her.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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