This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
