I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
