you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
