my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My vagina is very pro this idea
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
