Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
