Christians are straight up FREAKS
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
