We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize