I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know her cup size but not her name....
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