well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
