Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
