if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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