When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
