12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize