it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No subtext here. People are naked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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