thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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