I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize