Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
