we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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