girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
