Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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