And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
