I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
