You really coming over, don't trick.
You smell like stripper and shame
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
