So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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