the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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