Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize