I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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