No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
