I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
